I'm sad today and every day because I will never have any new pictures of Ollie. His time stopped march 24, 2012 all too soon. I see his precious face-only in a picture of course-and think how could I not ever hold or kiss him again? Seriously too much. I am thankful for the pictures I do have but I want new ones, I want more. I want to capture every milestone in his life and see him change and grow and learn but I won't have that opportunity. Ever. Never ever on earth.
My mind turns to thinking of Poppy. she is my other child she is here i need to enjoy her. I love her just as much as Ollie.
I know when I die I won't feel so cheated but for this earthly experience I can't help but feel that way. Not fair. I guess life was not meant to be fair but we are promised it's worth it. I sure hope so.
One of Ollie's last pictures :(
He's so stinkin cute and perfect in EVERY way. I love him.
He is so cute! I love his stringy hair and big blue eyes. And he even looks like he has fat hands like Q! I agree with this. I am so sad that I will never get any new pictures of Q. Im so thankful I took as many as I did and I look at them TONS! I want to cover my whole house in them. Im glad you said that you love Poppy as much. I can't imagine loving someone as much as I love Q. It will be good to feel that again. Like we have talked about before, we will receive our joy someday. We may feel cheated in this life, but I believe it will somehow be worth it in the end. I can't imagine anything being worth going through this pain, but I still believe it.
ReplyDeletei hope you don't mind me commenting - i saw your video on ksl back in march and shared your story with my girls. we wanted to send you a letter (and did) and in the search for how to contact you, i came across your blog. we have prayed for you and your family many times and will continue to do so. as i read your latest posts my heart aches so much for you. and i keep thinking of this quote that i heard recently when i attended the funeral of a dear friend's mother. the speaker quoted elder nelson in saying: "The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life." Then he followed it by, "and that is just not worth it." i can't imagine the sorrow you must be feeling, but i hope you are also feeling the love you have for ollie and poppy and rejoicing in that too. hugs to you!
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