Thursday, December 20, 2012

Helpful Books

These books helped me out so much after Ollie passed on to the other side. I found so much comfort, and hope with every fiber of my body, it's all true!
Thanks to all who shared them with me. Someone just mentioned another great book... Life Everlasting. Might have to get this over Christmas and read it. Hope they help and encourage others. If anyone wants to borrow them, let me know! Really, Im serious.














Today is just there.

It's rainy here in Oregon.


and dark.

and green too.

I am filled with sadness and longing for my precious little Ollie. Life is such a test of our endurance. I know I can endure but man it's rough.

I have accomplished some physically demanding tasks in my life such as running a half marathon without any training. (I have been a runner pretty much since I was in junior high so I expect this of myself). It was awesome and I felt great until I hit the "runners wall". Ouch. But I managed to finish. It was mostly a mind preparation for me. My mind is tough. I will admit. I'm stubborn. :) thanks mom. :))

I also gave birth naturally..Zero. Zilch. Nada. Pain medication and I felt AMAZING. It was actually a spiritual experience and I loved every minute. Yes the pain was so intense and I wanted to give up. I didnt though, and thats why it was amazing.  I reached my goal.  Afterwards I felt like I accomplished something great and that i could accomplish anything. I will continue to have all my babies au-natural, as long as my body allows!
*Us women are stronger than we realize.
**If anyone is considering natural childbirth, don't worry I will talk you into it!!

Chris and I have had nothing close to a smooth ride in our marriage. I actually am super thankful for this. At times I thought as if I would die...nothing even close to the pain of losing Ollie. (But maybe a precursor to get me ready for what was ahead). I will be honest I thought for sure my trial in life would be my difficult marriage. Of course we had wonderful times, but it was difficult. Little did I know what was ahead. Im glad I couldn't see what was coming or I would have crawled in a cave an hid. Guess what? We survived that rough road and our marriage is rock solid. Of course this *losing a child mountain to climb* is tough on a marriage, but for us it has made us even stronger. We both want nothing more than to be a family together forever with our entire family! Love my Chris!

I kind of think these life events are put in place long before we realize, and put there in preparation for something more difficult. Kind of like stepping stones, or mountains in some cases. What ever we are dealing with, it is a mountain to us at the time.

We just keep coming upon a mountain, we must climb it. It's amazingly difficult and almost impossible but when we get to the top, we see the beauty...and boy is it beautiful! and then another mountain in the distance. :)

I guess this is life. It sure is beautiful but sure is difficult.

BITTERSWEET
-never imagined I would taste of this cup.

I like to think of life as a piece of artwork:

We are molding ourselves into something amazing and each trial or experience gives us character. It shapes our art and then we are formed  into a final beautiful and unique sculpture. We will look amazing when we are finished and perfected. (after we die in heaven of course). Cant wait to se everyone in heaven when we are all perfected after this hard ride here on earth.

Keep on keepin on. That use to be my motto. I like it, I need it again.