Thursday, December 13, 2012


Little Ollie LOVED pretzels,
a new picture I found
 just like his daddy.
Every night when we would sit on the couch as a family to watch a movie, Ollie would be between Chris and I, (I miss this)
 He would all of the sudden 
jump up and
  walk to the kitchen in the dark.
 We would hear him rustling around to get some snacks for the movie.
 Sometimes I would walk out there just to spy on him.

 He was so cute.
Oh I miss him. Darn.

Then he would come running back to the couch with his treats, consisting of pretzels. 

He was such a smart boy.

In the day time he would want a snack so I would tell him to get a container for mommy. 
He would open the cupboard where he knew they were, get a container, close the door, hand it to me, wait while I filled it with pretzels and raisins, get his sippy cup, spill his water from the sippy cup, open the drawer where the rags were, wipe up the water, he had to get every spot of water and when he leaned over to wipe it up he would spill the water again because he wouldnt put his cup down, 
little mulit-tasker, 
then he would put the dirty rag back in the drawer, and close the drawer...He was such an efficient little boy like his daddy, and super clean like his mommy..

So as Chris and I would sit on the couch we could hear and in-vision the cupboard open then close, the other cupboard where the pretzels were open, rustling around for a minute, then close, then his tiny legs run back out here to sit between his mom and dad (who adored him in every single simple way) to find that he only had 4 pretzel sticks. We would laugh at him. Oh man I miss him forever.
Please dont say to me "oh at least you have memories."  
Just sayin.
It doesnt help. 
Yes I am thankful for memories but really I only have memories of my most loved son???? 
Pretty crappy. 
I know not many comment on my blog, dont let my boldness scare you away. 
Im just real and raw. 
Please comment if you feel like it.
*I am going to share some sights I have visited on how to help others when they lose someone
*next post*