Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Doernbecher Memorial Service

My mom and I drove up to the Doernbecher Children's Hospital for a memorial, honoring all the children who died between March 2012- March 2013.

As we made the drive up the long and windy road, filled with beautiful blossoming trees, the sun brightly shinning, we both began to cry.  Our emotions took us back to our personal experiences of the nightmare coming true before our eyes.
I cried out loud to my mom, "I never could have imagined those intense feeling of pain and fear as I road in the front seat of the ambulance, watching my baby Ollie in the back fight to stay on earth. We really had a "worst nightmare" come true, I really found Ollie dead in a washing machine, Ollie really fought for his life on my living room floor while EMT performed CPR, I really called Chris and said 'Ollie is dead', Chris really called all of his family to bear the bad news and listen as their hearts broke, we held and kissed Ollie while he transitioned from this life, we donated his body parts, we planned a funeral, we wrote his obituary, we went to the funeral home to see if he 'looked' good- looked good dead? are you kidding me? how awful. of course he looked dead. pale. nothing. gone no spirit. dead. dead. dead. we had all the men build him a beautiful casket, we really buried his 36 inch body in the ground."

I had to say all of this out loud. It hurt. It hurts writing it and reading it now. I never thought my life would be as it is now. never.ever. but it is my life.....   

This is Cameron Merrill. 
I met his sweet momma as we cried, hugged and felt and instant connection. I just know Cameron is sweet too, look at that precious face. 
He is Ollies buddy in heaven, I am sure. 
He had Leukemia. He fought a long hard battle. 
His momma wanted him to be remembered as a silly, smiley, water playing, puddle jumping, bubble blowing, balloon loving and popcorn munching kid.

The memorial was such a nice tribute from the hospital honoring our precious children. The parents could put up a collage to show precious memories of their child. It was nice to see all the other children who died and feel as if you knew them just a little. All of the parents hearts were broken. It was so sad and tender in that room. Some of the children fought long hard battles with illness, and some died suddenly like Ollie.