Sunday, September 22, 2013

Ollies buddy came to play

Ollie's little friend who he played with and was just becoming buddies with, Jace, came over to our house to play, but Ollie wasn't here....Such a hard thing to hear and accept. Ollie just isn't here anymore. One very normal day he fell into my washer and drowned, we buried him and hes now not in our home physically-but I do know his spirit resides with us continuously. My heart and mind do not understand any of this. I never will accept that Ollie is physically gone from our world.

I had such bittersweet feelings when Jaces mom asked me to watch him. I love Jace and I love holding him, kissing him and sniffing him. I love to see how tall Ollie would be. I love to investigate and kiss his hands. I love to watch his little boy curiosities. BUT it is just so hard. My heart loves it, but at the same time is torn and shattered for the longing of my boy, my Ollie when I see others progressing in their mortal lives......Its very healing for me, but very intense. very bittersweet.

Well here's to Jace and the cute little boy he is. We had a fun time together. I documented the entire day. I was imagining it were Ollie and Poppy playing-how it should have been. It was far better than Poppy playing alone all the time. She loved Jace and was very entertained!!!

and btw Jace is one day younger than I love him even more.

I made him pose for me the entire day, he was so sweet.

Jace has always loved Ollie skate board.

Chilaxin just as Ollie use to do, with his hands crossed under his head.

Singing and dancing for Poppy just as I imagined Ollie would be doing.

Watching daddy take off on his motorcycle.

Its suppose to be Ollie and Poppy, but that smile on Jace is precious.

Playing the drum that Ollie loved so much.

Squeezing Poppy and her hating it, just as I imagined.....


I hold onto the hope of seeing Ollie again. I believe we are eternal beings. No end and no beginning. We will all die and hopefully live with Heavenly Father again. 
 Here is a video on what I believe about families and eternal life.

Here is another video from a very inspiring mother and woman, Stephanie Nielson. I like the title of the video, "My New Life". I can relate. This new life I now live. I am barely beginning to pick up the broken pieces.