Today I arrived at the hospital at 12:15. I usually am there at 12:00 for the c-pap care, diaper change and feeding.. Today I was a little late and the nurse had already fed him. When I arrived he was spitting up all over and it was coming out of his nose and mouth. No one had noticed it. So, I told the nurse. She came over and started to suction him out. Then, he began to turn blue. He wasn't moving. My heart sunk. Oh man I totally know this feeling all.too.well. Are you kidding me? What do I need to learn from all of these experiences? Please God, enough already. My heart almost exploded from panic as I rubbed his tiny precious foot and nudge him to breathe. The nurse and RT kept suctioning him and then giving him more oxygen. Finally he did take a couple of breaths on his own, but not enough. The nurse had someone run and get the doc. She came in and looked pretty concerned with what she saw. Loxxley's heart rate was at 50 (normally about 150-160) and staying there and his oxygen was at about 30% (normally between 87-98). He then turned a pale color. Still no breaths. He wasn't even moving. I was more than nervous. They turned up the oxygen to 100% and still, he was not responding. They then gave him some breaths after his airway was clear and suctioned his nose and mouth again. Finally, he worked everything out after about 3 minutes....it seemed like 5,000. He had to recover for quite a while. Poor little guy. He is now fine for the present moment.
He also had his ROP eye exam this morning. Its very invasive and of course he hated it, but they said he tolerated it very well. His eyes were all red and puffy after the procedure. This is what Stevie Wonder has. Loxxley's vessels appear to be growing appropriately. They will do another eye exam in 2 weeks.
He also had a chest x-ray this morning, due to not being off oxygen after a month since birth. He has had increased oxygen needs in the last week. He is now at about 30%, which is still a minimal amount. He has fluid on his lungs. They call this, chronic lung disease. They are giving him until Friday to see if it works itself out, if not, they will give him a diuretic to help with the release of fluid.
**Not too sure why they did all this to him today. Poor little dude is so fragile and so tiny. He hates being messed with and every time he eats or poops his oxygen goes down. He still needs LOTS of prayers please.
On the way home after tucking Loxxley in, I began to break down. I let it all out. I often find myself holding it together. There are just certain times when you have to be tough and today was one of those. So, when I was alone, I cried and I yelled and I was super MAD. I asked WHY? I screamed some more. and I even yelled every Christmas song as loud as I could and I was still MAD.
Well, here's to a Merry Christmas....... Love you all.
Loxxley Hebb
Weight: 3 lbs. 2.1 oz.
Feeding: 27 ML
Oxygen needs: 27-30%
Poppy at the Children's Museum
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