Fortunately, things worked out to my liking and our once again heartfelt pleading prayers, were answered. Loxxley is supposed to be here. He is truly a miracle, the miracle we prayer for. His life is not yet completed and I am grateful formy time I have already spent with him.
The last few months-whoa I mean several exhausting never ending months, I have learned some things I want to share with others facing this same ever exhausting and difficult situation. The NICU is not a relaxing place to be, it is filled with anxious mothers (and fathers) quietly and fearfully attending to their babies the best they can as the doctors try to save their weak and fragile preemie.
|First minutes of life @ 2lbs. 5 oz.|
Several ways to help you push through and plan for the scary and uncertain NICU:
-When you first arrive in the Neonatal unit be prepared to be tired and exhausted. Every mother-excuse me, most mothers want to be with their precious and oh so fragile preemie every single minute humanly possible. For some, it is not very practical to be there every day, for me, I had to find a way to get to the hospital. I was too anxious and nervous away from him. I just thought that little baby needed me-even when there was not much I could do other than just stare and send my positive love and thoughts towards Loxxley. But do not feel bad if it is not possible for you to be there, the nurses are very skilled and take great care of your child while you are away. And the other mothers send their love to your baby too!!!
-Be prepared to NOT understand what's going on. There will be a lot of scary machines, tubes, and words you wont be familiar with. That is okay. You will quickly get used to them and like me, will get so sick of hearing those annoying beeps and staring at the monitors and having a panic attack every time your child desats. I swear, Loxxley's alarm went off more than any other baby....it probably just seemed this way.
-Don't be afraid of the doctors just because they are more knowledgeable than you-ask every question you can to find out the medical conditions and go home and do your own research. Remember you are still the parent and have the final say. Chris and I actually went against what some of the doctors thought, they dont know everything-but they do know a lot. Trust yourself after you have prayerful meditated about the matter. After losing Ollie and then having a preemie, God has played a big part in our lives and our decisions. He is very aware. We all need a power stronger than ourselves to call upon for help-even those amazing doctors do.
|Can you believe the size oh him???? |
Unreal and scary.
-Pray everyday as much as you can for your baby on your knees-I was too exhausted and rushed to the NICU the second I woke up, I wish I had done this more. I needed the quiet and peace I feel when I am praying or pleading to my God. I also needed the strength from a higher power to get me through this tiresome dark valley. God is aware and ready to help. Also Jesus Christ is there to lighten your burdens, He did for me and He will for you, If you ask. This fight is long and hard, but it will end and I hope it ends for you all in bringing your healthy baby home-if your child passes on to heaven, keep this promise with you every day until you yourself die-You Will See And Hold Your Precious Child Again.
|First time holding Loxxley, I was shaking.|