I am actually blown away with how much the body can go through and still survive, yet how fragile it is and how quickly it can die. Ones soul can also take quite the beating. It is only when you are stripped of everything-you have nothing else to give, then you will find yourself and what you are truly made of--you also can find God too.
Going through the trauma of finding my precious child inside my washing machine almost dead--sorry I know its hard to read, but its what it is and I face it head on in order to one day jump through it all. And then all that comes with your child's death---I am too weak right now to go into details, and then fighting to find a reason to stay alive yourself. I truly have been to the depths of my rock bottom many times over- I hope, I thought Ollie's tragic death was all I could handle.
Then I had the sweetest 2.5lb miracle. And that came along with so much will to persevere....man it was so so hard to fight through it day after day.
No wonder I am still tired?
Chris brought to my attention yesterday, that we need to give ourselves some credit for what we have been through......two super duper gigantic life changing events.
Yea, I already cried uncle with Ollie and threw in the towel.
Whats up with that God???
How can I be expected to do more when I am already finished....so I thought.
Well, I am living proof you are all stronger than you know. You really truly are. Don't ever doubt that. Have some faith in yourself--I telling myself this now. I sure had no idea I could live through all of this.....and I know the world is just getting more and more rotten, so I know there are more trials in store for me. I couldn't have done it without my hope and belief in our one true loving God. I know without a doubt He is aware of you and I, even though I often don't see it. I have had a lot of love shown to me and I believe it is all through the power of prayer and others being inspired to share their love.
I fight with the powers of the universe to live on earth and to live happily and mightily until the breath is taken from my body.....
Here's to life, love and 2015!
//I do know that loving God and speaking of Him is not the so called cool thing to do these days but, I just can't help it.....God is all around us. And so is my sweet Ollie boy! Oh, and I am not trying to be cool.. haha
The world is grand, get our there and truly live!!
2009 Basil, Switzerland--where my family is form.