Sunday, February 1, 2015

Just today

 I have faith and hope that my sweet Ollie-pop lives on. 
I feel it through out every inch of my body--from the smallest cell in my head all the way to the bottom of my toes.

How can you look at this picture and think, me as his mother, will never see him again? 
It just can not be.

If you have not ever lost a child or loved one, then you might not consider heaven or eternity. But the moment your precious child---a physical piece of you, a child that you carried in your womb for 9 months, strongly gave birth to and tenderly nurtured every day of life,  
dies and goes to this place, then will you highly consider looking beyond yourself and your own thoughts into something greater than you and I.
I don't really understand how the physical body is transferred, but matter is neither created or destroyed, so our light must transfer on somewhere else.

For me, Ollie is real, he is still living, just far away from me in a different form.
Love is never ending.

Today at my church in sacrament meeting, I went alone---as I often do, 
and listened to the testimonies of Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. 
One guy mentioned that everything in life is because of our God.
job promotions.
beautiful homes.
the pay raise.
this glorious earth.
our health.
  I know many do not like this way of thinking--my friends have mentioned this to me, 
they think that God is prideful in wanting all the glory and power. 
I feel differently.

God is the ultimate power.
He already has all the power and control.
He isn't asking for the power when he already has it.
He is just asking us to acknowledge him and give thanks.
The purpose for prayer, fasting and thankfulness to God is for us to show 

HUMILITY--getting down on our knees and submitting, its actually quite difficult to submit.

Since the day I pleaded to our one true God the day Ollie passed on-I mean really pleaded, 
weeped and wailed, 
I have had a very difficult time trying to figure out why we pray, if our prayers are not answered.
It was not meant to be answered first off and it was also for me to recognize God is in control. 
I have since given my life to Him. 
Without Him, I am helpless and hopeless.

Today I submit to the most high God.
My life is turned over to you--oh, such a relief.
I am not in control and never was--I love this feeling.
Today I am liberated.

Thank you Ollie for allowing me to see the true meaning of life and make the most out of it.
and for helping me see the light and beauty in all this darkness.

It will all be okay.
I will find that happiness again.....
 Egypt, 2009

Please share if you have more insight on heaven, I would love to hear about, books, stories, proof--ha