Monday, February 9, 2015

Yes I still...

nurse Poppy and she's almost 3! Yep, she can say, "mom, I want a drink of milk" and I nurse little Loxx of course too, sometimes at the same time, yep at the same time, and it's what works for us. 
And I'm ok with it! 

They hold hands as they nurse and it's just tender. Poppy even strokes his head as she thoroughly enjoys every moment. It heals all of our hearts as we let our spirits align in that moment! 
It's just beautiful, healing and pure!
Poppy has been through so much inside the womb and out. She still will say to strangers how her momma was in the hospital and how much she hated it. She even brings up that her brother Ollie died and is in heaven. That's a lot for a 2 year old to take in. All of this surely affected her deeply. And I just feel so bad as I try to help her work through it--kind of hard to do with a two year old, but I swear she is a very wise and precious soul who knows so much about this life already.
Wise beyond her years.  

And she's just so dang funny. 

Yes, I give my baby a bottle of goats milk in a plastic bottle. Well, it's BPA free. You're exactly right, breast is for sure BEST.  I totally never wanted to give my babies bottles to supplement my milk,but as I am finding out, I now have to do certain things to just survive. 
If you only knew how stressful that dang NICU was, then you would pass no judgement. My plentiful milk utters dried up shortly after about 3 months of being home from the NICU. The stress finally caught up to me and took me under. I had soooo much milk I could pump while in the NICU with Loxxers that  I gave two other mothers giant bags full of milk...and then I dried all up like an old heffer. Darn. 

Man, stress can kill you, I swear it can. It is so interesting that you can do everything correctly for your health and still be so sick. Stress, it's for real. 

Yes, I also give my almost 3 year old a binki, again something I never wanted to do. But, I'm ok with it and it works. The things that once seemed big are now so small and insignificant in raising my children. 

And I also give Poppy chewing gum, even though I don't chew gum myself. She just absolutely loves it. It changes her entire demeanor the second it hits her mouth. It's just crazy. But again, it works for now. 

The longer I unwillingly learn to deal without my child living on earth, I realize how unimportant so many things are and that I have to constantly do what works for me and my kids. And I have learned time and time again, to not judge the person or saturation. 
Goodness, you just don't know where someone is coming from and when you hear their reasoning, you usually feel compassion and understanding and sometimes you feel very bad for them. 


What do you do with your kids that your willing to admit isn't so good for them, or that you never thought you would do?? 

Please share.