Ollie,
It's been a while now since I have held you in my arms. The last memory of holding you was quite exhausting and horrendous, but oh so cherished and precious. I remember whispering the most tender words a mother would ever whisper to her son as you left this earth and progressed on-ward. I know you heard me and I know it will come true. (Wow what a hard day that was
Since you left us physically that awful day, I now have your sweet sister to hold and snuggle when Im oh so sad. She reminds me of you more and more. She even giggles just like you. I just know you would love her as much as I do. She sure is precious. I tell her I love her just as much as her older brother, Ollie. You are both so special to me. I even sing her the lullabies I sang to you. She goes right to sleep.
I think she knows you.
When she sees your picture she has to touch your picture with her tiny fingers and she grins so happily. She does this same thing every time.
I wonder if you ever visit her? I sure hope so.
I wonder what she will say when she can talk?
Ollie, momma is forgetting things about you. You will never leave my memory, but the small things are fading becasue you are not here. This hurts me. I hope one day I will understand. I think there is some greater plan. You have touched so many. You have forever changed my life. I hope to do great things in your name.
I love you, my little Ollie Kai Hebb.
You are so strong. I admire you so much and have you and your family in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI know you treasure little Poppy just as much as you do Ollie, but I am sad that you don't get to have both of them together. Now that I think about it, you probably do (because I think Ollie does come visit), you just might not always know it. Of course it's not exactly, or even remotely the same, but one day it will be. You know the saying, "The best revenge is living well"? I'm not sure who you would be getting revenge on (maybe death or pain?) but I just keep thinking that despite the effort, you are still struggling to live well. I believe that you will do great things in Ollie's honor. He will be telling everyone, "That's my mom. Just look how amazing she is!"
ReplyDeleteP.S. Look for a package in the mail next week. It's just a little something for Miss Poppy. I know it's weird to say that I'm sending you something, but a friend gave me a gift last week and told me in advance, and I really enjoyed anticipating it, so there you go, maybe you will too.
Love you,
Mindy