I am overwhelmed with life right now, as you could probably guess after such a tragedy. I feel so much love when I read all your comments and I can feel the prayers because I know without them I wouldn't be alive right now. I thank and love each and every person who takes the time to comment or email me. I had good intentions of writing back to every single person , but I have failed. I can barely brush my teeth and shower some days, so answering many emails is just too hard right now. I do read every single email and comment. I am deeply touched with your hope in me as a mother, woman, friend, daughter and wife.
PLEASE don't give up on me.
I feel bad needing prayers. I am not trying to be a hog.
I need the positive vibes and encouragement. My faith alone is weak. I am relying on many of you until I can be strong.
**Side note
I have always been (until now) a woman who was positive, uplifted others, a giver, shared my love, and had faith and hope. Sadly, right now I am none of these.
I guess it is my turn to receive and be uplifted by others. I hope to one day again return the giving, but for now I am a bit consumed in my grief.
*I will say the more service I do for others, the more I lose the heaviness of grief for just a small moment*
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| Ollie and I 3 years ago...I never have any pictures of myself... |
So again, I THANK YOU.
So happy to be with his mama! Beautiful photo of you both. You reach people's hearts with your honesty. You are not a prayer hog...praying begets more praying. It is like a contagious activity. It is wonderful in that way. :) Now go take some photos of you and Poppy...self-portraits if no one else is there. :)
ReplyDeletehi sweetheart. i hope you know i post to help you and hope that it does and hope that other as well as my self exspect nothing in return. it makes me sad that you have felt a burden of any kind in regards to others at this time in your life. its more than ok to need to be supported and uplifted on a daily basis even on an hourly time frame. i wish there was more i could do to help you more. my heart feels for you and i cant help but cry for you at times. i love you and im here for anyway you need.
ReplyDeleteI don't think we should ever feel badly for asking for prayer.
ReplyDeleteI understand "missing the old you" that you hinted at. We are not the same as we were before. But, I like your reminder that helping others does help to relieve some of the grief. I, too, am a caretaker and find joy in caring for others.
love you to you, sweet Tiffany.
Our prayers for you, are only gifts to the giver. Every time I get a chance to pray for another who is so deserving, it is only a gift to me. So I thank you for that opportunity...Tiff....and lean on lean on. The only thing you need to do is just keep BREATHING, and so many others are leaning on you and your divine example of perseverance and endurance through the most desperate of trials.....love you for your strength, but also applaud you for admitting your weakness...you are a daughter of God. As is Poppy. And Chris and Ollie his sons...that in itself should offer comfort in this cold cold world.
ReplyDeleteYou are wrong, Tiffany. You are still very much a woman who gives to others, uplifts us with your insight and wisdom and your example of faith and hope. It is okay to have days where you do not feel so strong. That is when you lean on all of us who love you. You inspire me every day.
ReplyDeleteTiffany,
ReplyDeleteThe most wonderful thing about praying is that there is no limit on how many people we can ask a special blessing on/for. There is no limit on what we ask for or need. There is no limit on what we receive, thankfully. You should not feel bad to be needing prayers, or asking for them. I, personally, am so glad you do. Your blog is so honest, and deep.
You still continue to uplift others. All these other mothers who have lost their children would agree with me I am sure. I see your comments of encouragement and strength on their blogs. You do so much for others that you are not aware of.
I honestly wish there was something more I could do for you, a way to help carry some of your pain, a way to help you see how much you really do for others, how much you still continue to encourage and uplift other.
I hope you continue to feel the prayers for you and your husband, and your precious Ollie. I know there are lots of people who love you and are praying for you guys, continuously. I hope you continue to ask for anything that you need, anything and everything. People would line up to be able to help you with anything, of that I am sure.
You are amazing. Hang in there young lady!
love you sooo much tiffany
ReplyDeletesending you a big big hug:)))
Sweet, sweet Tiff~I love you & I love that I learn from you every time I read someting you wrote. Thank you for teaching me all the time. I'm the mom & supposed to teach you...You are continually giving, even if you dont feel like you are. You are strong. You are an inspiration to many. You have lots of love. Your heart is broken & it still works. you keep taking it one baby step at a time. There are lots of people praying for you & as Tracie above said, the prayers bless the giver too. Kisses~
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong and so inspiring to so many people, Tiffany. The dangers of a washing machine had NEVER crossed my mind until I came across your blog--I am so thankful you had the courage to share your story. My heart sends you hugs often. I have never lost a baby I've met but I have lost a few before getting the chance to meet them...and I know I could never tell you 'I understand' but you can always email me for an ear if you need to. :)
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ReplyDeleteLove that picture of you and Ollie!
ReplyDeletePlease don't feel guilty about not responding to emails or comments. We just want you to feel our love and let you know we are thinking of you. Give yourself permission to let go of guilt and expectations and just focus on healing.
I think you underestimate yourself. While you may not feel like the same person you use to be, we all marvel at your strength and courage. We know how devastated you are. Those of us who have not lost a child can't even fathom how hard it would be to go on. The very fact that every day you face the world and try to smile and enjoy life, speaks volumes about your character. It's okay to struggle. One day you will be where you want to be, but know we are just as inspired by you now as we will be then.
Dear Sweet Tiff, You have not failed! If all you can do is lean on others right now....LEAN! Lean and rely on all of us who love you! I put your name on the temple prayer roll this morning. I send my prayers, love, thoughts, and hugs! I wish I could literally lend you my faith and peace....I KNOW it will come. You will feel whole again when your family is complete. Give your hurt to the Lord...the Atonement is for every pain and sorrow and every broken heart. Love you!!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, nor do I know you, but I have been following your story from the beginning. I totally fell in love with little Ollie through pictures. I think about him, and your family often. I wish so bad that I could do or say something to help...it saddens me that an amazing mother as yourself had to lose your baby...No one can understand just how much a mother loves their child, until they have a child themselves. He was and is so very precious! I am so glad that you have your sweet Poppy, she is so adorable and just looks so cuddly!!! I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteYour story has inspired me and provided me with the courage i need to become a mother. You have helped me figure out what it has taken me years and years.to try to know. You and Ollie have forever changed me. The least i can do is pray for your heart. My .gratitude. mrsjulieannc@yahoo.com
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