Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Special Songs

Every time this month that Chris or I have gone to church, in primary they sing the song we sang at Ollies life celebration (I still cant say funeral-yuck, my child actually had one of these, I dont believe it). 

The song is My Heavenly Father Loves Me. 
Listen to the words. Its my favorite primary song and we thought it was fitting because Ollie loved nature already. We wanted everyone to be reminded of sweet Ollie in everything they see. We had all of Ollies cousins sing the song. It was so sweet and such a tribute. What a sacrifice for all of us and Ollie to not be together on this beautiful earth. I do believe heaven is far more beautiful. I hope so at least.

In primary they are practicing the song so they sing it about 10 times each week....The first time hearing it after Ollie passed away was hard and I still sit and cry and feel so sad that my sweet little boy wont ever go to primary, he won't ever be a sunbeam...sad. He will forever be my little 2 year old. Yes I get sad hearing the song but at least it makes me think of him (like Im not already thinking of him every minute)  

I guess like anything the "firsts" of everything after losing a child or loved one are so hard, but once you face something head on-the only way-you begin to become a little less sensitive. I actually like being sensitive because it shows my love and that I am thinking of my baby boy. My grief ties me to him. So now I hear this song after about the 30th time, I am not as sensitive. Bittersweet. 
Some other special songs that we chose to put on Ollies life video are:

Somewhere over the rainbow-By Iz

Chris and I love Hawaii and we love the ocean so this song was fitting. Ollies middle name is "Kai" meaning the sea or ocean in Hawaiian.

 One More day-By Diamond Rio

 My bro-in-law, Ben Truman made his video-thanks Ben. His dad is actually in Diamond Rio. 
I LOVE this song.

Music is so powerful.


Yesterday Poppy had a big day. She learned to climb up the stairs all by herslef while I was cooking dinner. I found her on the 4th big girl. She also got her 3rd tooth. She is going to look so cute with her teeth.  She reminds me so much of you from her little fat hands, to the way she nurses and stares at me. She even sounds like you with her little noises. 
I wish I could see you play with her and be so gentle. 
I hope you are near. 
Poppy also learned to sign "more" I have been doing it to her for months now and she finally did it back. She does it every time now. She also started waving "bye-bye" and clapping her hands all this week. She is such a fast learner like you. 
Maybe, just maybe you are helping her to learn. I sure hope so.
Ollie we miss you every minute and dream about being with you. We will make it, but you must stay near us. Carry us along and inspire us to do great things. Help our broken hearts to heal. Help us to see the good in God and his plan for our future. Give us FAITH. This is a hard one for me right now. 
Ollie I love you forever and ever. Until I see you again.....