Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Still grieving-and always will be.

It's been 2 1/2 years since kissing Ollie goodbye, and we still miss him just as much. Yes we are getting used to our life without him-doesn't mean we like it, we wonder daily what it would be like if he were physically here to interact with. 

Last night Poppy wanted to open Ollie's special chest. 
The spider man Jammie's he got after he passed away from the hospital. We got to dress him in these...so tender and sweet, but oh so heartbreaking to say goodbye. I open the box and smell them often. I hold them to my chest and pretend it's Ollie.
 Its as close as I can physically get sometimes, it will have to do for now.


 Ollie's clothes are still in his drawers 2 1/2 years later.
and I'm ok with that.
I think I will move them out when Loxxley wears them....until then, I look and smell them often. 
>>>Its healing for my soul<<<

It seems as if just yesterday, I only had one child and was dressing and tending to his needs.
Now, today I have no Ollie-so unreal, But I do have miss Poppers and little Loxx.
And now I will go spent my time with the living and tend to these little peanuts who need their momma.....

Her worms she carried around for hours until they died and sang lullaby's to them.

Finding hope in today!