Saturday, October 4, 2014

Loving Me

Since losing Ollie----this is how every thought and every conversation now starts, I kind of don't like it, but its the truth. 
My life changed that day. 
My life fell apart, my heart broke into a million pieces and my Ollie's body died.
I lost myself. 
Of course I lost myself, just look at that face. How could you be okay holding him and watching him take his last breaths? 

I lost hope, I lost drive, and I lost all my self esteem-as a mother and as a woman.

So, since losing Ollie, I have neglected myself. I have focused all my time tending to the needs of my vivacious toddler Poppy, and my little miracle Loxxley. It has taken everything in me to just survive and be a good momma to them. I have tried to ALWAYS tell them I love them and they are just as special as Ollie. I try to divide my time equally between all three of my children.

Today I celebrate being a mom.
I celebrate being me.
I celebrate all 3 of my precious children.
Heavenly Father loves me and I need to love myself. 
I am a daughter of a God.
Today I have hope-hope in seeing Ollie again.
Today I am celebrating  being alive and share that light.
I am a dedicated and loving momma.
I find strength in knowing there is a purpose and a plan for this precious life.

Here's to finding joy in this life, one breath, one day at a time. I thank God for my journey and I thank God for my hope in a brighter tomorrow. 

 >>You should love yourself too. Our spirits are amazing and our bodies are so temporary. 
We are our spirits, not our bodies, so let your spirit shine forth<<


Here is where I found my hope for today. 
and spending time with the ones I love!