Thursday, December 11, 2014

Family Dynamics

Lately, I have been really having a hard time since moving, because Poppy has been pooping and peeing her pants several times a day and regressed to being a baby. She wants to be big, but I see in her wanting to still be a baby. She still needs her mommas attention. She has been through so much in her 2.5 years. I am constantly reminded to be patient with my precious child-she is grieving her brother too.

I lay awake in bed at night thinking of how different our life would be if Ollie were still living in it physically.  Poppy and Loxxley's would have been a perfect addition to our life we had with Ollie-pop.

In my church many people believe-as do I, that one day Chris and I will get to raise Ollie again from the age he was when he left this earth-2 years old. I long for this reunion.

But what about NOW.

What about all the memories we create together as a family here and now.
Someone is always missing. A feeling of unrest is always present at every family gathering and activity. I totally believe that I will see Ollie again and be his momma forever and also raise him and watch him grow-in the eternities, but I want him NOW. I just want my family to be complete-and it never will be here upon this earth.

Joseph Smith-A prophet of our church said: "More powerful to me are the thoughts of annihilation than death. If I have no expectation of seeing my loved ones again, my heart would burst in a moment, and I should go down to my grave. The expectation of seeing them in the mourning of the resurrection cheers my soul and makes me bear up against the evils of life. It is like their taking a long journey, and on their return we meet them with increased joy...."

So I look forward to my death and to the next chapter of my existence in the eternities with hope-if I have no hope my heart too would burst from sadness, but today I live each day as if it were my very last.

Really, Life is so Damn Precious. I can't bold this statement enough and damn doesn't even do justice for the power of how precious life is. Our God who gave us our breath may take it at any moment in time.

Live and live well my friends. Make today special and make today count! You never get this day to do over.


"The only difference in the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light 
and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but do not mourn as those without hope." -Joseph Smith