Friday, February 20, 2015

My Eyes

Being a parent is rough, I'm not going to lie.
 I struggle with being patient and gentle to my tender children.

"A child is like a butterfly in the wind,
some can fly higher than others,
but each one flies the very best it can,
Each one is different.
Each one is special.
each one is beautiful."
Ever since my sweet little Pops came into this life, she has been compared to her perfect angel brother, Ollie. Poor thing had to follow a perfect child. How hard this must have been for her and I am sure she was a bit reluctant. Right after Ollie died, that month waiting for Poppy to arrive, I had mixed feelings about her. I didn't know her, I didn't have a bond like Ollie's. I wanted my son, who I knew and loved, to come back to me.

Of course now I just adore Poppy and wouldn't trade her for anything. 
She is my light. 
She is my sunshine when skies are so grey.
She warms my cold heart.
I hope to show her and Loxxley as much tenderness and love as I did Ollie.
I hope my children all know how special they really are.

I am not yet the mother, daughter or wife I always wanted to be.
I guess that is why I strive daily to improve in so many areas of my life and that's also 
why I wasn't taken home with precious Ollie. 
I am way too imperfect and  my heart is too hardened.
I want to be better and I know I can achieve it.
I am not yet satisfied with myself or my life.
Thank goodness there is always tomorrow to try again.

I am constantly learning and growing.
I want to see the world with my spiritual eyes, 
they are non judging and gentle to all life.


Today this is what my sad eyes look like.....ewww
 I have a nasty viral infection.
Who knew you could get a virus in your eyes?
I didn't.
This is what grief does to your body....


Didn't want to leave you with that scary picture...sorry it's gross.

Today, lets all be just a bit kinder, love a little more, judge less, 
and accept all who cross our path.