Monday, November 2, 2015

You are stonger than you thought

My two boys!


Both boys are the same age here!


I love dressing Loxxley in Ollie's clothes.
All day yesterday I felt like Loxx was really Ollie- I kept doing a double take to see if it was really OLLIE! 
It was this weird feeling-but very neat too.
The truth is, Ollie lives on in my children. 
I see him and feel him through them.


I still keep Ollies clothes in the dresser and in the closet-he is still a member of our daily life.  
Might sound crazy to you.
But for me it's healing and just perfect.
  I often put his underwear or the unwashed clothing on my face and take a deep breathe in, crying quickly before Poppy comes in needing something, as I think of his soul and ask him to be near--I never let anyone see me doing this...ha ha, might look pretty weird. 
 Can you picture it now? 
Undies on my head as I'm sniffing them?

***

Grieving the death of a child is intense.
it's unnatural.
it's unfair.
 and it hurts.
We don't have any guidelines for this pain.
and nothing could ever prepare us for this catastrophic event.

Do what brings healing into your life.
Do what feels right to you individually.
Acknowledge the pain, the sorrow, the loss.
Turn directly to it, embrace it with open arms and jump over it.
This is where you will find the most healing.


YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE


//What crazy things do you do to help you heal// 

***

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die."