Sunday, December 20, 2015

This time of year

Missing a child who used to live on this earth and who was your everything, this time of year is just heart wrenching. It nearly breaks my heart to think of Ollie and who he was when he was here on this earth. The cute little things he did daily that were so special to me at the time. He was my first born, he made me a mother. He showed me unconditional love. He taught me what life was all about. He was my reason to wake up each morning.

Christmas time is supposed to be happy and filled with all the dear people in your life, right? Of course it is. A time of celebration for Jesus Christ and what he accomplished her on earth. As Chris and I remember Ollie and miss him with every fiber of our being, we do know that we will be reunited with him and live forever in his presence in the eternities.

Today at church while singing the beautiful hymns about JESUS CHRIST and ANGELS, I couldn't help but think my most perfect child was in the presence of these people we were only singing about here on earth. They were all together celebrating up above. Ollie is one of those angels. How special and glorious is this? I do feel pretty honored to have a child sitting on the right hand of the man we sing about and try to be like and desire to return to. My Ollie is already there!!! Many of my friends and family all seek this gift. Today Chris and I just couldn't hold back the tears as Loxxley looked at a picture book of Ollie. The songs were sung about glorious places and angels and God and we both knew Ollie is in this glorious places we only sing about. 

We sure miss our child who once laughed and played with us. We do know he is doing much more important and special things in heaven. He is needed there and we can't wait for the wonderful reunion with him.

The other day I saw a video of one of my friends who returned home from an LDS mission. The missionary first hugged him mom, the hug was so endearing and both were holding on and not wanting to let go. You could tell that both of their hearts were one and they felt complete joy at that very moment in time. I long for that with Ollie. I have visions of it happening and I know it will be the most amazing and joyful experience. EVER.

I still can't believe my son who once roamed the earth is no longer here. I will never accept it, but I will learn to deal with it and see the beauty in my other children. Until the day of resurrection, I hold firm to the faith in the plan of salvation.

I thank Jesus for enduring what he did for you and I, so we may live forever in his presence with God. 


I just can't help but share my solid testimony in heaven, God, Jesus, plan of salvation, priesthood powers, eternal life, hope, Book of Mormon....etc. I have had to dig deep to truly believe these things after Ollie died. I believe them with all my heart.  

P.s. My faith has never been this way until Ollie passed on to this place I have learned about all my life.