Our little fighter

Many people have been texting, calling and emailing me about an update....I' am so sorry.
I have been busier than I thought with my new little guy, learning to walk again, and enjoying my husband and little gal!!!

10 days old

My days have been spent pumping every 3 hours, getting my body use to walking again
and driving to the hospital.
I wish I could stay with my little man all.day.long, but I know I have
another child who needs me just as much or more at this point.

***

The little guys pod and home for the next few months

Look at that tiny bum...oh my, I was so nervous.

First time holding him, only for about 5 seconds while the nurses changed the bedding, but it was special.

I sang to him and he looked at his momma!!

Now thats just the tiniest foot...teenie tiny.

No, this little peanut still doesn't have a name.
There are about 3 names we are considering, well I don't really love them, but they are all we've got.
EZRA
LOXXLEY
KOA

My favorite is Loxxley, nic name Loxx.
Let me hear what you all think, and remember his middle name is KAI, after his big brother!

Sweet baby boys update
-He is still on room air and cpap-
-He is now having regular stools-
-He is tolerating his cpap changes very well, he is on 4-the lowest-
-His tummy is now soft-
-His x-ray of his tummy came back normal-
-He weighs 1000 grams-
-He is on 6ML of breast milk-
-He lost blood and they aren't sure where it went, so he had a blood transfusion, he accepted it well-
-Not sure about the brain bleed after the blood loss-
-He has another brain scan on Friday-

Please pray for our little guy.
 I really feel bad to ask for help and prayers again. I already had prayers and help when Ollie passed onto heaven,
now this???
It's just too much for Chris and I.
We are stuggling.
How can we possibly be doing this?
Its just sureal to sit in the Doernbecher Neonatal Critical Care
and
think about when Ollie was in the
Doernbecher Pediatric Critical Care.
How can we possibly have 2 sons fighting for their lives in the exact same hospital?
We didn't get our miracle we had wished, hoped, pleaded, and weeped for.....I hope the second time around we get our MIRACLE.

**Hospital Scare**

So I think most people know I am pregnant, either by seeing my tummy or hearing about it....well this pregnancy has been a rough one. Yes, I am now 30 years old and my body is a little different than when I had Ollie. I think the biggest stress on my body this pregnancy is the  'grief' stress. It sure does a number. Whoa.

Last week I was admitted into the hospital, due to leaking of what my midwife and I both thought was amniotic fluid. She did a quick swob and the test came back positive, so they quickly took me over to the hospital-not a place I like or wanted to be. So many horrific memories hit me in the face the second I walked through the doors-this was a different hospital than where Ollie tried to hang on to his precious life, but still a hospital none the less.

After 8 hours, many tests, blood work, two different ultrasounds, and many doctors trying to prove that my amniotic fluid was leaking-oh and them telling me if I was leaking amniotic fluid, I would then be induced and have the baby and it would not survive. After hearing this I wanted to die. Another one of my precious children-gone. I was thinking that i might only have one living child because I am not suppose to be pregnant and never wanted to be again-this view point has since changed. I couldn't handle this. My anxiety level rose, I became instantly week and wanted to cry. I was scared. My entire body was shaking uncontrollably, but I was trying to hold it together and act like nothing was happening. I was praying again in the hospital bathroom, pleading for my Heavenly Father to not take another one. I was trying to accept what might happen. So we waited, and waited some more, very impatiently for the results.

Finally, at 11:00pm the doctors came in and basically told me they have no idea what this fluid stuff is and can not prove it to be amniotic fluid. They really had no answers. They just said come back if it keeps happening, things change drastically and to take me temp if I notice I feel weak.

So I put myself on light duty. I am trying to be patient with doing less. Its hard. But its worth it if I can have a healthy baby. Here is cute baby Hebb #3.

And no, we arent finding out the sex. Its was more exciting!!!
Look at that cute nose, looks just like Ollie and Pops!

So now we wait, pray, trust and hope!

**Thank you my sweet and loving family and friends for your prayers. We feel them, as always! **

**Powerful Thoughts**

Radiating energy affects everyone...

"Research involving over 1700 experiments, demonstrates that the DNA in living cells can communicate with other nearby cells through the transmission of energy in the form of light. These results indicate that cells can communicate with one another independently of bio-chemistry and of organ systems such as the circulatory system, nervous system, or immune system."

-Leonard Laskow-Healing with Love.

"When your intention is to transfer loving energy there is no way you can fail...because in the subtle realms intention is action."

-Leonard Laskow

I believe so many of you have transferred your loving energy through your kind words. We can literately share our love and light with others around us.

****************************************************

Something I have been thinking a lot about lately, due to a question on my friends blog.

Read more about my friends story here.

http://forvienne.blogspot.com/2013/02/tell-me-why-do-you-pray.html

 **QUESTION:

Why do you pray? 

The day Ollie died I have never prayed so much or so deeply. I never wanted anything more than for my baby to start breathing again. I have my own thoughts and answers I have received in the last few weeks, so just tell me why YOU pray.

Prayer

Ollie 

I pray for your love to encircle my body and lift up my head so I may see the light.

Please encourage me and hold me as I cry.

Protect us through  our day, and ward off the destroying angels. 

Protect our home. 

I know you are powerful so please don't forget us.

Inspire my mind to do great things, and give me hope.

Please heal our heavy heavy hearts and lighten our sad spirits. 

Make us strong.

Help us to see the good in others.

We love you forever sweet Ollie.

We will ENDURE until we hold you again.